![]() (No, not really.) Eventually the character was dropped altogether in favor of Frenzy, a four-foot tall over-caffeinated collection of tin foil and mechanical pencils that served the vital role as the film's Jar Jar Binks. ![]() The Soundwave character was then recast as the late Estelle Getty, then as a sack full of marbles, and later retooled as a cardboard cutout of Spuds MacKenzie the Original Party Animal. A negative fan reaction led to this character being renamed Vortex, who was later rechristened Blackout. And honestly, who wants a film about English-speaking robots from outer space to be dogged with unrealistic special effects? Instead it was leaked that Soundwave would transform into a helicopter. Producer Don Murphy let it be known early in development that the type of drastic shift in mass demonstrated by Soundwave's original transformation (to that of the aforementioned cassette recorder) wouldn't fly due to concerns over realism. ![]() Congratulations, Ratbat, your full potential has been realized.įrenzy (Transformers) When rumors of a live-action Transformers movie began to surface, the first thing on everyone mind was that all-important question: Will Soundwave be in it? The second thing on everyone's mind being: Oh hell, Michael Bay is directing it this can't end well. The sole reason for his existence seems to be to bump Kup and Huffer each one slot down on this list. The chief offender amongst these miniature malcontents was Ratbat, a character so superfluous as to lack even a proper name. Ratbat (Transformers: Gen 1) For the record, Soundwave only had three cassette tape minions of note: Laserbeak, Rumble, and Ravage. But he did go on to help Megatron create the Space Bridge used to transport Earth-made Energon back to the motherland, so at least he was able to secure a sweet job in the Shipping and Receiving department. Shockwave ( Transformers: Gen 1) Remember that kid on the playground that no one liked but you had to play with because your mom told you everybody needs a friend? Remember how you'd always leave him at the monkey bars to "guard the base" while you and your real friends went out to raid the super-fast slide? Yeah, in Decepticon circles they call that kid "the Shockwave." He turned into a giant laser pistol, which sounds wicked cool in theory, but when you consider the fact that he spent his 4 million years as the supreme Decepticon commander of Cybertron doing nothing save steadily burning through the planet's remaining power reserves, you sort of get a feel for how unmotivated a robot he really was. Assuming that these "forces of evil" operate entirely within the realms of arson and trapping unsuspecting cats in very tall trees. Yep, there's surely no better vehicle for fighting the forces of evil than a fire truck. While we called the Autobot leader, this time in the guise of a fire engine, Optimus Prime, they called him Fire Convoy. And the gross oversimplifications didn't stop there. ![]() ![]() In Japan they called it Transformers: Car Robots. Those, my friends, are what we call leadership chops! It is also of note that Ultra Magnus taught a generation of children that swearing is cool.įire Convoy (Transformers: Car Robots) In the States we called the Transformers anime of the early 2000s Transformers: Robots in Disguise. Ultra Magnus ( Transformers: Gen 1) While touted as the model solder and paragon of Autobot virtue, Ultra Magnus is better known as the jackass who lost the Matrix of Leadership, and then, once it was recovered, decided it would be a pretty cool idea to just let some teenage punk keep it instead. Huffer ( Transformers: Gen 1) Why did someone name an Autobot after your college dorm mate with a thing for airplane glue? (We can safely assume this was from the same brain trust that gave us "Kup.") Huffer fulfilled an important role in the Transformers universe as the consummate pessimist, teaching children that no matter how well crafted your latest project may be, it will surely be destroyed by renegade Decepticons. Part magic raccoon, part alarm clock, part… oversized testicles, Heinlad still holds the dubious title of being the only Transformers action figure to ever come with a jug of wine in his accessory kit. But in a world of robot giraffes, mammoths, ammonites, bunnies, and penguins, Heinlad stood out as the most laughable. Heinlad (Beast Wars Neo) The Japanese series Beast Wars Neo produced some of the strangest characters in Transformers history. ![]()
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